Frustration. Angst. Fear. Jealousy. What's the point? None as far as I'm concerned. It's just not worth it. Yes, I'm one of those people who does not believe in love. For me, at least. But for good reason. I'm too smart for love. Too objective. Too busy. Are you trying to tell me that two people can successfully communicate their feelings for one another without one of them coming off as creepy? Are you going to say that it's entirely possible to fully trust somebody with your emotions? That when you aren't there they still respect you and miss you? Cause that's a load of crap.
I'm inclined to believe that love is a one way street with a creeped out observer sitting at the dead end. Nobody is going to have the same emotional experience as you, or perceive the same situation the same way. The worst part is even if you're indifferent, you can come off the wrong way. You don't even have to be clingy for someone to think you're clingy. You don't have to come on at all, and it's too strong. Fucking ridiculous.
Now, don't flatter yourself. If anything don't flatter yourself. You're not their be-all end-all. You're an accessory. Yeah they like having you around, you make them smile, you're fun to cuddle, you react to them. But they lived before you. They live when you're away. And they'll. Live. After. You. Unless of course you lie to each other for 80 years and they die before you.
Really, something needs to be solved here. But this isn't a puzzle I even give a shit about. Maybe I need to communicate more effectively. Less frequently. I don't know.
But what I'd really prefer is to not feel anything that could be labeled as a crush, love, or attraction. I could get along just fine.
