I would like you to know that the following stories are loosely based on true events and have been modified for the sake of comedy, although certain key elements have been preserved.
I love the drive-thru at McDonalds, it’s always a good time messing with the staff. I got a great idea for a way to mess with them from one of my friends, he recommended ordering the value menu. Not just many items on the menu, but to order the entire value menu. So I thought I would try it out, and not to my surprise the turnout was hilarious.
I pulled up to the transmitter, I don’t know what they call it in the business but I figure it’s something along those lines, the order-taker, the customer-order transceiver, the electronic customer to staff order relater, I couldn’t tell you. As customers we are uninformed on the terminology and if someone asks us what it’s called we pause for a moment and say… the speaker…box… and for bonus points we’ll throw in an umm or maybe even a thingy. … the speaker…box… yeah…
But I digress, the voice coming from the ecsor says very clearly “Welcome to McDonalds can I take your order?” in a tone that just as clearly says this is the last order they’ll try to translate before pulling out a shotgun and destroying the equipment and wiping out the entire staff. Having been to many a McDonalds I was unaffected by the tone, I’d grown so accustomed to it, and I said “Hi I’d like to order the value menu please.”
There was a pause. Have you ever experienced one of those pauses where it gets to the point where you’re not quite sure if you should repeat yourself or not, not too sure if they’ve heard you or if they’re just really slow. So you give it another couple seconds, whether it’s face to face or not you do the head tilt, raise eyebrow and lean forward. Wait a couple more seconds, and just as you decide to repeat yourself, the second your vocal chords start to utter that first word they say “Oh wait I got it”. This was not one of those. I thought that it was going to be, but right at that last second, instead of the classic Owigt, she just said “What?” This was followed by another pause.
“I’m sorry what?” I paused for emphasis, not really I just wanted in on the pausing action, but we’ll let on that it was for emphasis. I said “Hi, I’d like to order the value menu please.” Again with the pause, we were three to one now. So she says “You mean you’d like the bacon cheeseburger with a small fries and small drink?..” I added “…And the Junior Chicken, the double cheeseburger, 2 apple pies, and a small cone as well please.” After the perfect period of time, I was just about to repeat myself and she said “Oh wait I got it… you’d like the value menu. That’ll be $9.38 please come to the first window, thank you.”
The story is very uninteresting until I’m on my way out of the parking lot after having my meal delivered to my window. It was then that I decided that I was going to check to make sure they got my order right. So I open up the bag and look inside, and not to my surprise I have before me a bacon cheeseburger, small fries, and a small drink. Again, I’m very accustomed to the workings of the McDonalds facility, I roll down my window and yell to the person who carried me my meal “This isn’t the whole value menu, how can you screw this up, the order is plastered at least once on all of your walls inside and out, not to mention the posters hanging down from the ceiling.” She gave me a look, and I knew that right after I got my order she was going to whip out the shotgun.
No comments:
Post a Comment